Things have been messy
I fell into a messy situation and that’s the best way I can describe it.
There are so many elements, so many emotions, so much, attached to this that it is simply- a mess.
It’s complicated, perplexing, and it’s ultimately- sad.
A mess can be cleaned though, a mess can be organized, it can come together.
There might be more things in the room, but by playing a little Tetris, all the pieces can fit.
From Co- Star on April 4th, 2023
I don’t often check my horoscope app, Co-star, but yesterday I happened to and that was it’s message. It immediately comforted me to be honest. The permission to just settle and stop trying to clean. I needed that.
At this moment, I cannot organize the piles, I cannot clean the clutter- alone.
“I get by with a little help from my friends, gonna try with a little help from my friends”
It was during middle school, so we’re talking ‘05-’08, that little me listened to the album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band probably everyday. Along with a few others I’m sure we will discuss one day, it lived in my 6 disc stereo system.
(I had a sick stereo system for the times, my parents were cool.)
I would blast song after song, singing along terribly at the top of my lungs, air drumming and air guitar-ing. I’d imagine what it must have been like for the audience and for the band members themselves to perform those songs. I’d be moved to tears, but most things made me cry those days (still most days.)
Today, the above quote from With a Little Help From My Friends, has never rang truer to me.
My friends have shown up for me, held space and provided support in a desperate time.
My friends have checked in, kept tabs and asked the questions I haven’t been asking myself.
Also, to acknowledge it and hold myself accountable- I have to say, I can’t pinpoint why I haven’t posted anything new, or old, on here in months. I built up all this hype for myself really and then my inattentiveness crept in and 5 months went by. It’s harder than I expected but I plan to post old things in meantime until I get back in my groove. Here below, to start, is a gallery of photos from the first photoshoot we had for this blog. These are a selection of favorites from the “Bummer Party” I threw.
Looking at it now, it tells a little story of sorts-
sad, bored, alone trying to dance it out. calling up others to join, yet finding yourself still sad bored alone.
okay - thank you for listening too,
xoxo tmt
