I left the hospital being called “Baby No Name” by my family. For two weeks I was cradled, loved on, and yet nameless. I recently brought up to my mother how I was named only to find out I have been wrong for years about the story. It’s even more appropriate than I thought.

Surrounded by friends to help fill it, my parents pulled my name out of a hat.

So just like that day, with magic, suspense and full theatrics I say:

Hi, My name is Taylor.

it’s nice to meet you. 

 

For you, I am

Misery’s Favorite Company.

SO HERE ARE THE BASICS:

I was diagnosed with Chronic Depression when I was 14 years old. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II when I was 21 years old. I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 27 years old. I write a lot. I would only share it with close friends and the occasional stranger in bars but everyone’s feedback always ended with:

“you need to share this.”

I launched this site, not knowing what I was really going to do with it. I have a habit of running with an idea full force before I have the slightest idea where I want to end up -

and yes, this is reflective in my writing…

so, come on - run with me.

it’s gonna be a little sad, but in a fun and beautiful way! it’s been extremely inconsistent since the beginning, which is a extremely reflective of where I have been during that time.

However, that time is over and it is now and I am ready, again, for real this time.

 

You may not have much detail or context to what is posted but that isn’t the point. My point is mainly - me, i guess.

This is for me, like a digital journal* that’s kept vague in case mom ever finds it.

* Not everything is my favorite thing, not everything is complete, and not everything will be current.*

*Everything I believe is worth admitting or remembering.

*TRIGGER WARNINGS will be on some. Read in your at your own will and in your own time.

All I ask is that you let the words rattle in your brain for a few seconds,

let it land where it may, whether it be there in your brain or

maybe it sinks down into your heart so you can open a connection between the two.

That’s what I’m trying to do for myself, feel free to join me here.

A Ruler and a Little Bit.

 “Imagine seeing water slipping in from the crack under your door. Imagine you run to the door and it’s locked from the outside and you realize there are no windows large enough to slip out of and the water has started to rush in. Imagine all you have are towels, that only soak up so much before they drip too. Imagine that, day after day and you’ll realize a flood is inevitable.

Calling for help causes a lump in your throat and when it gets to a certain point all you can do is tread water. You’ll eventually be pushed under by the ceiling.

Yet, that’s not to say I don’t kick my legs and scream to stay afloat, to stay alive.

You will read how much I’ve fought, how I have battled until I got bloody. You will read about my parents, how they are stubborn like I am and yet, they are the most understanding people. You will read how my older sisters fucked me up and later saved me. You’ll read how despite my efforts, despite all the times I’ve stayed afloat, the water still rushes in again and again without warning. 

It’s important to know some of the following may make you uncomfortable

but trust me, I’m uncomfortable too.”

~TMT